“Finding the lesson behind every adversity will be the one important thing that helps get you through it.” ― Roy T. Bennett
Somebody tweeted the other day that if we don’t use our time on lockdown to learn a new skill, start a “side hustle” and gain more knowledge, we lack self-discipline.
I have a problem with this kind of thinking.
My bingeing days may be well behind me but, like many people who binge eat, I have a tendency towards busyness and achievement.
Doing a lot is a way of avoiding what’s going on inside us. Keeping busy means we don’t have to spend time with ourselves. We don’t want to stop in case we get in touch with a sense of inner emptiness.
But we don’t repair the emptiness by doing stuff.
We don’t heal with avoidance.
As I’m fortunate not to be on the frontline in the fight against Covid-19, what lockdown has given me is a chance to just be.
When I’m not working, I’m finding myself spending quiet moments.
Without doing.
Without distraction.
In direct contrast to that tweet, I’m managing to push away the part of me that says “you should be doing something” and, for once, I’ve found the permission just to sit with myself.
The sense of pleasure it gives me is bliss.
I don’t want to give you the impression I’m achieving some constant Zen-like state of inner peace. I’m just allowing myself to slow down and be present much more often.
And, when life returns to some sort of normality, I want to ensure I retain these treasured moments.
While there are clearly wider lessons for us to learn at this time, there are small, individual lessons too.
This is mine.
I don’t need a new skill or a side hustle, thanks very much.
I don’t have to be doing.
I’m learning just to be.
©️ Julie de Rohan 2020.
I really hate it whenever someone tries to tell me what I should be doing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Me too, Jim. If someone starts a sentence with the words “you should”, they’ve lost me. Good to hear your thoughts, hope you’re doing OK.
LikeLiked by 1 person
that’s when I start my reply with “And you should really mind your own damn business ..” But that’s just me and I’m a tad bit rude. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
hey, Julie, good to hear from you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! How are you doing?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m good thanks. I’m doing about twice as much charity work as usual, just contacting more people to check they have groceries/meds. Darned site easier doing it from home, tbh, but I miss my trips to M&S for treats each week! Had to set up Skype on the computer. You still managing to do some things online?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, seeing all my clients online, with occasional sessions on the phone, and feeling grateful I’m still able to offer support. You sound very busy! Shame the weather’s about to change but hopefully the sun will be back soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s still only about a day a week, day and a half, spread over a few actual days. I seem to be a lot more able to cope than some of the clients. I’ve tried to post on WP quite often, any nonsense will do, but I’m starting to be fatigued by that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What is it now – 48 days in a row? I take my hat off to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, might take Thursday off!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully written and wise. To learn just to be!
Important lesson that strengthen.
miriam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Miriam – I appreciate your kind words.
LikeLike
I completely agree with you. There’s a lot to be gained from being still for a period of time. We are more likely to get insight and direction anyway if we can allow ourselves not to be busy and distracted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the irony, isn’t it? For some of us it’s so difficult to be still but when we can it’s such a benefit. Many thanks for your comment, hope you’re OK.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Succinctly put!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Merci!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with you. Putting pressure on ourselves can only lead to stress. I’m actually rather enjoying this. The skies are clearer and birdsong is more audible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never noticed the birdsong as much as I do at the moment – it’s just beautiful, as are the blue skies. I’m feeling very lucky to have a garden to sit in and enjoy them both. Many thanks for your comment, it’s lovely to hear from you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Julie. And you. We have some much needed rain today after a long dry spell. In between the spells of rain the birds are sounding especially happy. I am sitting on the sofa and reading a great book. Bliss!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds just wonderful! Yes, it’s a bit of a rainy old day here in the UK, isn’t it? But the garden and the birds will be very happy, and it’s a great day to curl up with a good book. Enjoy!
LikeLike
I think during this time we’re meant to be quiet, self reflect and seek joy. We’re too busy all of the time. Someone is telling us it’s time to stop and smell the roses. Wonderful post Julie!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Exactly that, Erin – it offers those of us who have to stay at home a chance to stop, step back and appreciate the simple things in life – if we choose to take the opportunity. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts, I hope you’re all doing well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good reminder, Julie! I catch myself wondering what I’ve accomplished over all these weeks and feeling that it’s not enough. I know it’s not helpful to think that way, but I seem to fall into the same trap over and over, so I appreciate hearing it’s important to take time ‘just to be’. Hope you’re well 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
If I’m not careful I can wake up and immediately spring into that mode of “doing” and it just doesn’t feel great – I’ve learnt that achievement needs to be in balance with downtime but I sometimes struggle to get that balance right for me. I think that’s why allowing myself to stop and just be is so beneficial – emotionally and psychologically. Thanks for sharing your experience, Karen, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person it will resonate with. Hope you’re doing OK.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just a few days ago, I wrote myself a note that says, “Mornings are yours, no one else’s,” for exactly that reason! I was jumping into busy-ness too quickly. All is well here – some talk of starting to re-open things but no dates yet, so hopefully it’s not rushed through too soon. Take care 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I love that, Karen! “Mornings are yours, no one else’s” – such a caring reminder to give yourself your own time – just lovely. I think I’ll try that myself!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing!.. other than making a few changes to deal with the issue, I really don’t do anything different than in the past… I follow my dreams, sometimes browse memories of history’s past and see if there are any minor changes that I can make to what I am already doing in order to live a better and healthier life… 🙂
“Any piece of knowledge I acquire today has a value at this moment exactly proportioned to my skill to deal with it. Tomorrow, when I know more, I will recall that piece of knowledge and use it better. “ Mark van Doren
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a great Mark van Doren quote, thanks Dutch. Glad to hear all is good with you – long may it continue.
LikeLike
Balance is important now more than ever! I agree with your post completely.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Melinda – hope you’re OK.
LikeLike
I think that’s an excellent lesson! If we can learn that, then there really is a silver lining to this particular cloud.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a lesson I’m very glad to have learnt. Many thanks, Ann. Hope you’re OK and Happy Birthday to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too true!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLike
I so agree. I have learnt how to slow down which feels good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It feels great, doesn’t it? I suppose we don’t realise how much we rush around until we’re forced to stop. Many thanks for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
nice post
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike