Expert Insight: What Makes You Truly Happy

~ Julie de Rohan

“The more you know about what makes you truly happy, the better you will be at finding it. Pleasure, joy, contentment and satisfaction may be sitting on your doorstep, but they’re not going to reach up and ring your bell!”

Karen R. Koenig, “The Food & Feelings Workbook”

Ironically, pleasure, joy, contentment and satisfaction will be ringing my doorbell this afternoon in the shape of two of my best friends. We’ve known each other for decades and, although we only get to see each other once or twice a year, we always seem to pick up where we left off.

I have no doubt that during the two days we’ll be together we won’t stop talking unless we’re asleep. We’ll cry, we’ll talk utter nonsense and we’ll laugh until it hurts which, for three 50-something women, is – let’s face it – a risky endeavour.

In short, we’ll have an Utterly Good Time.

And that’s essential because life is so often So Damn Serious.

I spent too many years of my life allowing my insecurity about my body to get in the way of having a good time. I worried too much about what people thought about my appearance and if they were judging me. I let my negative thoughts about myself ruin every possible pleasurable experience.

But those days are over. I’ve learnt that life is way too short to spend it obsessing about what you look like.

My body has been various different sizes during the course of our friendship, from very big to the medium-size that I am now. But they don’t care what size I am. And nor do I. When I spend time with them I’m truly happy and that’s all that matters.

Everyone of us deserves “pleasure, joy, contentment and satisfaction”.

As Karen Koenig says, the more you understand what makes you truly happy the better you’ll be at finding it.

©️ Julie de Rohan 2019.

***

Reference

Koenig, K.R. (2007) “The Food & Feelings Workbook: A Full Course Meal on Emotional Health”. Carlsbad: Gurze Books.

Published by Julie de Rohan

A specialist psychotherapist helping people struggling with compulsive eating, emotional eating and binge eating disorder.

23 thoughts on “Expert Insight: What Makes You Truly Happy”

  4. Thanks for sharing and I hope that you and your friend have a wonderful reunion… as for what others think; “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt
    When and where does one find happiness?.. only the heart knows… 🙂
    “I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

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      1. It would be a lot better if the sun were shining and it were a lot more like spring… 🙂 but, I have you and friends here to make the day brighter… you have a wonderful weekend also!.. 🙂

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  5. What a lovely warm post, Julie! I hope you have a marvellous time with your friends. They sound like true soulmates and you are so lucky to have them. I appreciate my friends so much, especially since leaving them behind in Ireland. But when I meet them, like you, we just pick up where we left off. Isn’t it lovely to be able to do that?! Lxx

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  6. This is such a heartwarming post, Julie! I couldn’t agree more that sometimes life can be so damn serious! Your words on your negative thoughts about yourself ruining experiences in the past really strike a chord with me, as I have been there far too many times as well. How wonderful to have such close friends, too. Enjoy your time together! 🙂

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    1. I feel sad when I look back and think of how many experiences I didn’t enjoy because I was too concerned with my appearance – I imagine you do too. It’s such a waste. Although I still struggle with insecurities at times as I’m sure we all do, I don’t let them get in the way of living my life. I appreciate your thoughts, Lisa, many thanks for you comment.

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  8. There’s nothing like time with the women friends. I have a friend who is my soulmate and we get together, we laugh, we meditate, we cry and we laugh some more. We lift each other up and walk a spiritual journey together. Your post gave me a feeling of joy just thinking about the power of positive women hanging out with each other. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. I love that, Mary – “We lift each other up and walk a spiritual journey together”. It sounds like you and your friend have such a wonderful connection – I always feel so grateful to experience that connection with my women friends and, like you, feel so uplifted when we spend time together, it’s such a blessing. I’m really glad this post resonated with you, many thanks for your comment.

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