A friend phones to ask you for a favour.
You’re already swamped and you don’t have the time or energy to help them out. Plus, this particular friend never seems to return any of the favours you do for them.
They wait expectantly for your answer.
A voice in your head is advising: “don’t agree to this. You have too much on already. Say no”.
Into the phone, you say with a smile:
“Yes, of course, I’ll do it – no problem”.
Continue reading “What’s the Price of People-pleasing?”
“Let’s loosen up some time and take a break to recalibrate our life. We need no endless overthinking, though. Let’s just connect the dots, set the scene and steam ahead.” – Erik Pevernagie.
Apologies for the radio silence, folks, I hope you’re all doing OK. I know it’s been a while since I’ve published a post. September has turned out to be an exceptionally busy month for me, in what has been an extraordinarily busy year.
I make the mistake sometimes of thinking I can do it all. Weirdly, I’m often surprised to find out I can’t. I’d assumed I could keep up with my writing schedule this month as well as everything else but it turns out something had to give, and it was my blog that missed out.
Continue reading “Personal Note: Slowing Down”
While the process of change never runs smoothly, sometimes it feels like an endless battle with yourself which can wear you down and make you feel like giving up.
So let’s examine some of the reasons why change might feel like such a challenge.
It’s not coming from a helpful place within you
Often the attempt to change is motivated by your Inner Bully who says you’re unacceptable and have to improve to earn your place in this world. Trying to change yourself to please others isn’t healthy motivation and doesn’t work. The only motivation for lasting change comes from an authentic place within that is concerned for your wellbeing and wants the very best for you.
Continue reading “Why is Change Such a Challenge?”
You’ll notice things are a little different on the blog this month. The usual features are being replaced with a series of festive-themed posts to help you through the holiday season.
And before the festivities really begin to ramp up, why not stop and take a breather?
Think about how the past 12 months have been for you and consider what you want next year.
Continue reading “Season’s Greetings: A Letter to You”
“The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break is something that shouldn’t be squandered.” – Harper Reed
Those of you who’ve been following this blog for a while will know that in January this year, I upped my publishing schedule from one post a month to four. Alongside my client work, both in my private practice and at the eating disorders charity I work for, it’s quite a commitment. A hugely enjoyable commitment, but a commitment nonetheless.
And I need a break from it.
So, in the interest of self-care and being able to give you my very best, I’m taking a blogging break during August. That way, I can recharge and get some headspace before coming back with a wallop next month.
Continue reading “Personal Note: Taking a Break”
“Advertising for many commercial goods functions by cultivating our body insecurity or hatred in order to sell products. If we all believed we were attractive as we are, for example, we would have little need for most commercial beauty products. Women in particular are taught that their self-worth is determined by how well they match the cultural standard of beauty. Most of us therefore feel inadequate and that we can never measure up. And it seems as if advertisers have recently realized that they were so busy exploiting women’s insecurities, they’d forgotten half the population. So now they’re doing their best to make men feel equally horrible about themselves. Buying into these images doesn’t benefit anyone but the advertisers”.
– Linda Bacon & Lucy Aphramor, “Body Respect”.
A few years ago, when I was facilitating a workshop on emotion-driven overeating, I was talking about not buying into “the cultural standard of beauty” that Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor describe. One of the participants became quite angry and said something like “it’s all very well to say that but this is how the world works”.
Continue reading “Expert Insight: Body Appreciation vs. Body Loathing”