Gentle Reminder: Dreamers Who Do

When I meet clients for the first time, I usually end the assessment by asking how they’d like their relationship with food to be.

“Just normal” is the almost universal response.

They then explain they don’t want to think about food all the time, they just want to eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. They don’t want to binge or overeat. They don’t want to obsess about food from the second they wake up until their frazzled heads hit the pillow at night.

It’s a lovely goal.

It’s an achievable goal.

I used to dream about having a “just normal” relationship with food. At the height of my eating distress, when I felt alone and desperate in my dysfunction, I’d look at people who ate normally and think “they’re so lucky, it’s so simple for them”.

Working through my issues with food I came to realise it is simple.

Eat when you’re hungry.
Eat exactly what you feel like.
Stop eating when you’re satisfied.

It just takes a lot of practice.

Practise dismissing negative thoughts that say “you’ll never do this”.
Practise understanding what your body is saying to you.
Practise not judging yourself and what you’re eating.
Practise resisting the urge to detach from your feelings.
Practise staying with yourself emotionally so you build resilience.
Practise reaching out when you’re in need, not doing everything alone.
Practise seeing food as just food, not a way of coping with life.
Practise never giving up on yourself.

And the best time to practice is now.

Not when life gets easier or when you’re feeling better.

Now.

We all deserve a peaceful relationship with food.

It’s not enough just to dream about it.

As Sarah Ban Breathnach says, “the world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do”.

***

For a reminder about why there’s no better time than now, read this 2018 post “What Are You Waiting For?”.

Season’s Bleatings: Dodging Diet Talk

At a Christmas party, two guests are standing by the buffet. One has their plate piled high with food. The other has cleverly taken a Buffet Tour and has selected only the food they really wanted. The first guest is eating very quickly, the other is taking their time and savouring their selection.

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Season’s Meetings: Shields Up!

It’s a good old-fashioned Christmas meet-up with family, friends and acquaintances.

So who’s here? There’s your aunt who tries to emotionally manipulate you. There’s that old family friend who always makes inappropriate remarks about your body. Over there’s your cousin who never fails to give you “helpful” diet tips. She’s talking to your mother who’s giving you “that look”.

And there’s you – mindlessly eating mince pies in an attempt to deal with the stress and misery.

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Season’s Eatings: The Buffet Tour

A friend is having a Christmas get-together. The house is decorated, the tree is trimmed and in the middle of the room a table groans under the weight of an impressive buffet.

There’s everything you could imagine: sausage rolls, veggie vol-au-vents, smoked salmon pinwheels, stuffed peppers, bread, salads and olives, not to mention those little cheesy ball things you just can’t resist (apparently this buffet is from 1974).

In the kitchen, an array of cakes and puddings is waiting to be brought out once the savoury course is finished.

What do you do?

Continue reading “Season’s Eatings: The Buffet Tour”

Gentle Reminder: It’s Not Your Fault

It’s so easy to beat yourself up when you binge. Especially if you begin to suffer health complications as a result of increased weight.

“It’s my fault”, you say. “I’ve brought this on myself”.

Except you haven’t.

Continue reading “Gentle Reminder: It’s Not Your Fault”

Gentle Reminder: Trust Yourself

Self-trust. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?

Actually, if you’ve experienced a lifetime of self-doubt, it’s more like difficult difficult lemon difficult.

It can be hard to connect to that quiet, assured, trustworthy voice within you.

But it’s there.

You may struggle to hear it, but it’s there.

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Gentle Reminder: You are Enough

If I were to ask you why you’re not enough, you’d probably say “I don’t know, it’s just what I feel”.

But a feeling isn’t truth. It’s not fact.

It’s just a feeling.

If I challenged you to give me a list of your deficits and defects, would you struggle to produce concrete evidence?

Continue reading “Gentle Reminder: You are Enough”