“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”– Haruki Murakami
You don’t need me to tell you it’s been a tough year.
Continue reading “Once the Storm is Over”
A friend phones to ask you for a favour.
You’re already swamped and you don’t have the time or energy to help them out. Plus, this particular friend never seems to return any of the favours you do for them.
They wait expectantly for your answer.
A voice in your head is advising: “don’t agree to this. You have too much on already. Say no”.
Into the phone, you say with a smile:
“Yes, of course, I’ll do it – no problem”.
Continue reading “What’s the Price of People-pleasing?”
“The wants, needs, feelings, hours, hopes, and dreams of everyone around you bear equal weight to those of your own. Neither mine nor yours are greater. Ingrain that into your understanding”. ― Richelle E. Goodrich
How easy or difficult is it to “ingrain that into your understanding”?
For some it’ll be easy, it’ll already be part of your world view. “Of course my needs are as important as anyone else’s. Why wouldn’t they be?”, you think.
Some behave as though their needs are more important than anyone else’s.
For others, it’ll be tough to believe your wants, needs, feelings, time and aspirations are in any way important, let alone just as important as anyone else’s.
Intellectually, you might know that it must be true.
But you just don’t feel it.
Continue reading “Food for Thought: Our Needs Bear Equal Weight”
Be kind to yourself.
How often do we see stuff like this on social media? Perhaps we’ve heard words like these from a well-meaning friend when we’re struggling. Maybe we’ve said them ourselves to try to encourage people we care about.
I know I have.
Yes, we should all be kind to ourselves, love ourselves and be ourselves.
It’s good advice.
It’s great advice.
But for many it’s just not that simple.
Continue reading “What’s in the Way?”
“Let’s loosen up some time and take a break to recalibrate our life. We need no endless overthinking, though. Let’s just connect the dots, set the scene and steam ahead.” – Erik Pevernagie.
Apologies for the radio silence, folks, I hope you’re all doing OK. I know it’s been a while since I’ve published a post. September has turned out to be an exceptionally busy month for me, in what has been an extraordinarily busy year.
I make the mistake sometimes of thinking I can do it all. Weirdly, I’m often surprised to find out I can’t. I’d assumed I could keep up with my writing schedule this month as well as everything else but it turns out something had to give, and it was my blog that missed out.
Continue reading “Personal Note: Slowing Down”
This post from 2018 explores why we often take responsibility for other people’s feelings, and the subsequent impact on us and our eating behaviour.
You’re about to send an email and you’re re-reading it for the tenth time to make absolutely sure there’s nothing in it that could be misconstrued and cause offence. Then you check it another ten times after you’ve sent it – just in case…
You bump into a friend in the street. As you walk away, you replay the conversation over and over in your head trying to work out if you said anything “wrong”. You’re still rerunning the conversation in your head as you lie in bed that night…
A work colleague seems a bit off with you. You instantly rack your brain to recall your most recent interactions with them. You spend the day desperately trying to work out what you did to upset them so you can apologise and make things right…
Continue reading “Summer Rewind: Why Do We Need To Let Other People Own Their Feelings?”