It’s my experience that people with emotion-driven overeating issues don’t like being told what to do.
Maybe a work colleague asks “should you really be eating that?”
Maybe your partner is putting pressure on you to lose weight.
Maybe a “well-meaning” friend is always suggesting a new fad diet.
Maybe your parent says “don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Feelings. Yuck. Murky things that make us feel really uncomfortable.
To people with overeating issues, feelings are about as welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.
Our natural inclination is to run from our emotions, to avoid them like the plague. They’re so unsettling and uncertain. And we don’t like uncertainty. We like to be in control and know what to expect.
Continue reading “Why Should We Make Friends with Our Feelings?”
“I just want to lose weight”.
If you’re struggling with binge eating you might hear yourself say that a lot. Sometimes it can feel like the extended dance mix is playing on a loop in your head with repeated choruses of “I hate myself, I’m so disgusting”.
With such conscious thoughts, it’s easy to believe that all you want is just to lose weight and if you could do that (ideally instantly) then everything would be OK.
If you’re reaching for food when you’re not hungry.
If you’re eating beyond the point that your body says it’s had enough.
If you’re standing alone in a dark kitchen bingeing like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s not food you really need.
Continue reading “If It’s Not Food, What Do You Really Need?”
One of the traits that people with emotion-driven overeating tend to have in common is that they speak to themselves extremely unkindly. In fact, they speak to themselves in a way that they would never speak to another human being.
“You stupid, fat cow.”
“I hate myself.”
“I’m so disgusting.”
These are just some of the abuse-bombs that people typically launch at themselves. If you do the same thing, please don’t beat yourself up (about beating yourself up).
It’s not your fault.
You may have received a plethora of negative messages in childhood and, consequently, are treating yourself the way you think you deserve. Or years of failing diets, bingeing and weight gain may have decimated your self-esteem. Or both.
It’s my job to help people find autonomy with food.
I’m a psychotherapist who works exclusively with people who overeat. I use the term “emotion-driven overeating” to encompass the overeating spectrum that includes compulsive eating, emotional eating and binge eating disorder.
But why is it important to have an autonomous relationship with food? After all, some would argue that most people have a dysfunctional relationship with food, that there is no “normal”. So what’s the big deal?
Julie de Rohan 