Gentle Reminder: Dreamers Who Do

When I meet clients for the first time, I usually end the assessment by asking how they’d like their relationship with food to be.

“Just normal” is the almost universal response.

They then explain they don’t want to think about food all the time, they just want to eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. They don’t want to binge or overeat. They don’t want to obsess about food from the second they wake up until their frazzled heads hit the pillow at night.

It’s a lovely goal.

It’s an achievable goal.

I used to dream about having a “just normal” relationship with food. At the height of my eating distress, when I felt alone and desperate in my dysfunction, I’d look at people who ate normally and think “they’re so lucky, it’s so simple for them”.

Working through my issues with food I came to realise it is simple.

Eat when you’re hungry.
Eat exactly what you feel like.
Stop eating when you’re satisfied.

It just takes a lot of practice.

Practise dismissing negative thoughts that say “you’ll never do this”.
Practise understanding what your body is saying to you.
Practise not judging yourself and what you’re eating.
Practise resisting the urge to detach from your feelings.
Practise staying with yourself emotionally so you build resilience.
Practise reaching out when you’re in need, not doing everything alone.
Practise seeing food as just food, not a way of coping with life.
Practise never giving up on yourself.

And the best time to practice is now.

Not when life gets easier or when you’re feeling better.

Now.

We all deserve a peaceful relationship with food.

It’s not enough just to dream about it.

As Sarah Ban Breathnach says, “the world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do”.

***

For a reminder about why there’s no better time than now, read this 2018 post “What Are You Waiting For?”.

Food for Thought: Water Your Dreams with Optimism

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”  – Lao Tzu

So you’ve crystallised your dreams for the coming year and you’ve planted the seeds of your desires in the (hopefully) fertile soil of 2020.

Now take a moment to look inward and tell me – do you expect your dreams ultimately to grow and blossom, or wither and die?

Be honest.

Your answer makes all the difference.

Continue reading “Food for Thought: Water Your Dreams with Optimism”

Gentle Reminder: Make Movement Joyful Again

Exercise.

I can practically feel the groaning and eye rolling.

In preparation for writing this blog post I did a bit of research. I googled some exercise slogans. What I found ranged from the ridiculous – “squat till you puke” (eww) – to the downright offensive, which I won’t repeat here. (Guys, seriously?).

Many of the so-called “motivational and inspirational” quotes I found conveyed the message that to have the body you’re “supposed” to have, you must punish it into submission.

No wonder the ‘e’ word has such a bad rep.

Continue reading “Gentle Reminder: Make Movement Joyful Again”

Are You Committed to Your Destination?

I remember the day I wanted to give up.

I was at home.  It was a warm, bright morning and sunlight was streaming into the study.  I was heading towards the door but, as I passed my desk, something stopped me.

A simple thought.

“This is too hard”.

I’d worked so hard to understand my issues with food and myself but, despite my efforts, I couldn’t make enough sense of them to consistently affect my eating behaviour.  Although my bingeing had stopped, I was still eating when I knew I wasn’t hungry.  It felt like an impossible struggle with no way out.

Continue reading “Are You Committed to Your Destination?”