Gentle Reminder: Stay on Your Path

The path to a peaceful, normal relationship with food can be long and twisting.

And many things can try to pull you away from it.

Maybe someone at work raves about losing weight on the latest diet and you consider joining them for yet another “quick fix” attempt.

Maybe you go clothes shopping and nothing fits well or looks right, and you decide your body is to blame.

Maybe someone snaps a photo of you and your Inner Bully has a field day pointing out all your “defects”.

There’s one thing, though, that’s perhaps more disheartening than anything else.

You’re feeling better about yourself because your eating is improving and you’re developing healthy self-compassion. Excited at beginning to feel in charge of your life you decide, even though you feel vulnerable, to share some of your therapy process with a friend or family member.

However, instead of being met with words of support and encouragement, what you hear is “well, it’s obviously not working, you haven’t lost any weight”.

In a heartbeat, they dismiss everything you’ve achieved.

In a split second, they threaten to undermine all the courageous work you’ve done: healing from negative experiences; connecting to your feelings; defining your personal boundaries; strengthening your self-esteem; tuning into your true needs and wants; dismantling your diet mentality and normalising your relationship with food.

They might as well have punched you right in the gut.

There will always be people who, rather than caring about what’s going on inside you, are only ever concerned about what’s outside of you.

Don’t let other people’s ignorance or insensitivity throw you off course.

You know how far you’ve come and you know where you’re going.

Trust yourself.

Stay on your path.

***

To help you stay on your path, here’s a reminder of the principles of intuitive eating.

Season’s Eatings: The Buffet Tour

A friend is having a Christmas get-together. The house is decorated, the tree is trimmed and in the middle of the room a table groans under the weight of an impressive buffet.

There’s everything you could imagine: sausage rolls, veggie vol-au-vents, smoked salmon pinwheels, stuffed peppers, bread, salads and olives, not to mention those little cheesy ball things you just can’t resist (apparently this buffet is from 1974).

In the kitchen, an array of cakes and puddings is waiting to be brought out once the savoury course is finished.

What do you do?

Continue reading “Season’s Eatings: The Buffet Tour”

Personal Note: Taking a Break

“The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break is something that shouldn’t be squandered.” – Harper Reed

Those of you who’ve been following this blog for a while will know that in January this year, I upped my publishing schedule from one post a month to four. Alongside my client work, both in my private practice and at the eating disorders charity I work for, it’s quite a commitment. A hugely enjoyable commitment, but a commitment nonetheless.

And I need a break from it.

So, in the interest of self-care and being able to give you my very best, I’m taking a blogging break during August. That way, I can recharge and get some headspace before coming back with a wallop next month.

Continue reading “Personal Note: Taking a Break”

What’s the Point?

You’re having a conversation with a close friend. There’s something exciting going on in your life and you’re dying to fill them in. As you talk, you’re brimming with energy and enthusiasm about your venture. When you finish, rather than sharing in your excitement your friend says flatly:

“What’s the point?”

Slightly stunned, you ask them to explain what they mean.

“Well”, they say, “it’s just that you’ll never do it. You’ll never achieve that. You might as well give up”.

How do you feel?

Continue reading “What’s the Point?”

Food for Thought: Unlocking Self-Compassion

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent.  They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line.  Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be”.

– Kristen Neff

That self-critical voice has such authority, doesn’t it?  We think “if I just strive to be the person it tells me I should be, then one day I’ll be OK”.

But that day will never come.

The day will never come when that negative voice in our head says “well done, you’re worthy, now you deserve to look after yourself”. Its sole motivation is to make us feel not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not successful enough, not enough, not enough, not enough…

Continue reading “Food for Thought: Unlocking Self-Compassion”