We can spend so much of our lives waiting.
Waiting for something to happen.
Waiting for things to get better.
Waiting for the ideal moment.
I know I did (and sometimes still do).
There was an awful lot of time between acknowledging to myself that I had a binge eating problem and healing my relationship with food.
Most of that time I spent waiting.
Trigger warning: binge eating, abuse, trauma.
After I’d finished yet another secret binge.
After I’d made myself feel sick from the vast quantity of food I’d eaten.
After I’d told myself how weak and pathetic I was.
After I’d hated myself with utter conviction.
As I sat alone in physical and emotional pain, this is the question I would ask myself over and over again.
“I’m just one of those people who hates exercise”.
That’s what I used to say. And I believed it.
Man, did I hate exercise.
I felt angry (and guilty and ashamed) at the mention of the word and I’m worried you may stop reading for the very same reason, but I hope not.
Uh-oh, it’s January.
The time of year when, even if you’ve been doing really well finding autonomy with food, you can suddenly find yourself bingeing again.
Why? Because in January it’s impossible to escape the barrage of adverts for slimming clubs, weight-reduction schemes and meal replacement products. Social media is abuzz with the latest celebrity eating plans, while endless newspaper and magazine articles try to convince us of the new wonder diet “that really works”.
We reach for food when we’re not hungry in order to detach from our emotions. The problem is that in doing so we cut ourselves off from all our emotions, even the enjoyable ones.
The struggle to understand and acknowledge what you’re feeling is an essential part of resolving your issues with food, so working out what brings you pleasure can be a lovely way to start.
It’s my job to help people find autonomy with food.
I’m a psychotherapist who works exclusively with people who overeat. I use the term “emotion-driven overeating” to encompass the overeating spectrum that includes compulsive eating, emotional eating and binge eating disorder.
But why is it important to have an autonomous relationship with food? After all, some would argue that most people have a dysfunctional relationship with food, that there is no “normal”. So what’s the big deal?
Julie de Rohan 