“There is nothing so moving – not even acts of love or hate – as the discovery that one is not alone.” – Robert Ardrey.
Since we became aware of the scale of the Covid-19 pandemic, we’ve witnessed feats of altruism that leave us in awe.
We’ve also seen acts of selfishness which make us hold our hands up in despair.
However, what I’m experiencing most often is a sense of connectedness and solidarity.
“We’re in this together” is the message I keep hearing.
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
This month marks 3 years since I started this blog with my very first post “Why Should We Make Peace with Food?”.
What began as a way of conveying some helpful words to clients struggling with emotion-driven overeating has grown into something I couldn’t have imagined.
This month’s theme is “change” and, rather ingeniously, I was planning to tell you I’m making some changes of my own.
Continue reading “Personal Note: Riding the Waves of Change”
“Change happens the way a plant grows: slowly, without force, and with the essential nutrients of love and patience and a willingness to remain constant through periods of stasis.
If change is what you want, you need to find a gentler way of dealing with yourself and others.” – Geneen Roth, “Breaking Free from Emotional Eating”
Continue reading “Expert Insight: A Gentler Way of Dealing with Yourself”
While the process of change never runs smoothly, sometimes it feels like an endless battle with yourself which can wear you down and make you feel like giving up.
So let’s examine some of the reasons why change might feel like such a challenge.
It’s not coming from a helpful place within you
Often the attempt to change is motivated by your Inner Bully who says you’re unacceptable and have to improve to earn your place in this world. Trying to change yourself to please others isn’t healthy motivation and doesn’t work. The only motivation for lasting change comes from an authentic place within that is concerned for your wellbeing and wants the very best for you.
“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” – Abraham Maslow
How often have you found yourself at that difficult crossroads?
A part of you urges you to step back, insisting you stay in your comfort zone where it’s familiar and safe. “Keep to your usual way of thinking. Continue your old patterns of behaviour. You know where you are then”, it says.
But, like a persistent child tugging at your sleeve, another part wants your attention.
Rather than stay safe, it compels you to move forward. “There’s more for you than this. You know there is”, it whispers, as it hints at an exciting future you’ve yet to discover.
Continue reading “Food for Thought: Step Forward into Growth”
“The fundamental problem is that if we have not been appropriately soothed and have not had carers who have sufficiently helped us to manage our feelings, we are likely to have great difficulty managing them as we grow up and in adult life*. We badly need the skills of emotional regulation because otherwise we are at the mercy of our feelings…
Many people, of whom you may be one, self-soothe not with words and compassion but with substances and activities. The compulsive exerciser is making himself feel better by his exertion; the drug addict or problem drinker is using substances to escape from feelings he can’t manage; the person with disordered eating is using her preoccupation with food, weight, shape and size to deal with feelings that she doesn’t know how to manage in any other way.”
Julie Buckroyd, “Understanding Your Eating”
Continue reading “Expert Insight: Soothing with Words and Compassion, not Substances”
Julie de Rohan 