“To be nobody but yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
– e.e. cummings
In a world that says we must compare, correct and conform, this e.e. cummings quote – written decades ago – has, surely, never been more relevant.
There’s so much pressure for us to look the same, act the same, be the same.
Sometimes it’s hard to assert our uniqueness because we risk rejection.
But there’s such power in being nobody but ourselves.
Continue reading “Food for Thought: To Be Nobody But Yourself”
Back in my binge eating days, I’d often hear a soothing little voice in my ear.
If I was having a tough day at work, the voice would whisper: “it’s OK, pick up some food on your way home”. Like co-conspirators, the little voice and I would plan the binge I’d have later.
Planning was part of the bingeing ritual and looking forward to it helped me get through the day. I’d feel excited as I imagined all the food I was going to eat. All those “bad” and “naughty” things I felt I wasn’t allowed because I was firmly entrenched in the diet mentality.
But the little voice gave me permission. After all, it told me I was having a difficult day and food would make me feel better.
Continue reading “How Do You Soothe Yourself Without Food?”
“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” – Alice Miller
“I forgive them”. This is what victims of crime sometimes say when they’re interviewed on the news days, or even hours, after some terrible violation has been committed against them. Perhaps they were brutally attacked. Perhaps someone they love was murdered.
“I forgive the people who did this to me”, they say.
I always feel a sense of concern when I hear this.
Their forgiveness seems so immediate. It makes me wonder what happened to their feelings.
Continue reading “Food for Thought: The Rush to Forgiveness”
You’re having a conversation with a close friend. There’s something exciting going on in your life and you’re dying to fill them in. As you talk, you’re brimming with energy and enthusiasm about your venture. When you finish, rather than sharing in your excitement your friend says flatly:
“What’s the point?”
Slightly stunned, you ask them to explain what they mean.
“Well”, they say, “it’s just that you’ll never do it. You’ll never achieve that. You might as well give up”.
How do you feel?
Continue reading “What’s the Point?”
You’re walking back from the shops one day when, out of the corner of your eye, you sense movement in a nearby alleyway.
As you approach, you realise it’s a little child, about 4 years old. As she turns her face towards you, you see that she’s crying. Her expression is a mix of anguish and fear. She’s alone, save for a small teddy which she’s clutching with both hands.
You bend down in front of her.
Then, you reach into your shopping bag and remove a tube of Pringles, a packet of 12 doughnuts, a family pack of chocolate bars and a large tub of ice-cream.
“Eat these until you feel sick”, you tell her.
Continue reading “Gentle Reminder: Be Sensitive to Yourself”
Does it sometimes feel as though your thoughts are like a thousand out-of-control driverless express trains simultaneously zipping through a labyrinth of tiny tunnels in your mind?
If so, you’re not alone.
People whose eating is emotion-driven often describe themselves as “overthinkers” – they’re so consumed by their thoughts that eating is the only way they find respite from the turmoil in their heads (that and going to sleep).
But how do you start making sense of your thoughts when they’re whizzing by so fast you can’t grab hold of any of them? Where do you even begin?
In my experience, the best way is to get a paper and a pen and start writing.
Continue reading “How Does Writing Help Us Heal?”