Gentle Reminder: You’re Not Alone

“There is nothing so moving – not even acts of love or hate – as the discovery that one is not alone.” – Robert Ardrey.

Since we became aware of the scale of the Covid-19 pandemic, we’ve witnessed feats of altruism that leave us in awe.

We’ve also seen acts of selfishness which make us hold our hands up in despair.

However, what I’m experiencing most often is a sense of connectedness and solidarity.

“We’re in this together” is the message I keep hearing.

The knowledge we’re not alone provides comfort in this time of challenge. We’re bound together in a world that has changed dramatically in a very short space of time. While each of our experiences is different, there’s a commonality which unites us and that’s reassuring.

So know that – wherever you are – you’re not alone.

Also, know that it’s understandable if your eating has become unsettled and erratic. It’s normal to feel anxious and uncertain at a time like this and it’s not surprising you turn to food to detach from those feelings. But it’s also a good time to keep focused on your issues and practise staying with yourself emotionally.

To help, I’ve created a new eatonomy® Scoop.It page.

Scoop.It enables to me to “curate” online articles I think might be interesting or useful to anyone struggling with emotion-driven overeating. Click on the link above to access the page. To help me feel like I’m not “scooping” into a vacuum, please hit the “Follow” button on the top left-hand corner when you get there.

Also, if you finished sessions with me either privately or at the eating disorders charity where I work within the past 6 months and you feel you need to check in online via Zoom or phone during this difficult time, I’m happy for you to contact me.

My private practice is currently full so I’m not able to provide ongoing sessions, but I’ll do my very best to accommodate you if I can. Please don’t struggle in silence – if you think a private session would be useful, just get in touch through the Contact page.

You’re not alone.

Stay home.

Save lives.

We’re in this together.

Gentle Reminder: Paying Attention to Pleasure

“I hate food.”

“I wish I didn’t have to eat.”

These are some of the things new clients say when we start working together.

Years of dieting and dysfunction with food have left them desperate about what to eat. Food has become the enemy and, understandably, they feel it would be simpler if they just didn’t have to eat at all.

Meals are often such a minefield that eating has no pleasure.

One of the best things about normalising your relationship with food is you get to enjoy eating again (or perhaps for the first time). As you learn to give yourself absolute permission to have exactly what you want, the sense of deprivation that contributes to binge eating begins to fade away.

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Gentle Reminder: Dreamers Who Do

When I meet clients for the first time, I usually end the assessment by asking how they’d like their relationship with food to be.

“Just normal” is the almost universal response.

They then explain they don’t want to think about food all the time, they just want to eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’ve had enough. They don’t want to binge or overeat. They don’t want to obsess about food from the second they wake up until their frazzled heads hit the pillow at night.

It’s a lovely goal.

It’s an achievable goal.

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Gentle Reminder: It’s Not Your Fault

It’s so easy to beat yourself up when you binge. Especially if you begin to suffer health complications as a result of increased weight.

“It’s my fault”, you say. “I’ve brought this on myself”.

Except you haven’t.

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Gentle Reminder: Trust Yourself

Self-trust. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?

Actually, if you’ve experienced a lifetime of self-doubt, it’s more like difficult difficult lemon difficult.

It can be hard to connect to that quiet, assured, trustworthy voice within you.

But it’s there.

You may struggle to hear it, but it’s there.

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Gentle Reminder: You are Enough

If I were to ask you why you’re not enough, you’d probably say “I don’t know, it’s just what I feel”.

But a feeling isn’t truth. It’s not fact.

It’s just a feeling.

If I challenged you to give me a list of your deficits and defects, would you struggle to produce evidence?

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Gentle Reminder: Something about Feelings

This is the blog post where I wrap up the theme for the month – in this case hope and hopelessness – and link to an older post from the archives.

There’s just one problem.

It’s the first day of my holiday and I’m currently sitting in the kitchen of a gorgeous little cottage in the Cotswolds. The countryside is unbelievably beautiful. The weather is perfect. The only sounds I can hear are the gentle hum of the fridge, birds chirping in the courtyard outside and the tap-tap-tap of my fingers hitting the keyboard.

Why is this a problem? Well, I’ve come down with a severe case of lazyitis (must be the change of water, I think) and I’m struggling to write the post I was planning to write which, I recall, was something about feelings.

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