Gentle Reminder: Stay on Your Path

The path to a peaceful, normal relationship with food can be long and twisting.

And many things can try to pull you away from it.

Maybe someone at work raves about losing weight on the latest diet and you consider joining them for yet another “quick fix” attempt.

Maybe you go clothes shopping and nothing fits well or looks right, and you decide your body is to blame.

Maybe someone snaps a photo of you and your Inner Bully has a field day pointing out all your “defects”.

There’s one thing, though, that’s perhaps more disheartening than anything else.

You’re feeling better about yourself because your eating is improving and you’re developing healthy self-compassion. Excited at beginning to feel in charge of your life you decide, even though you feel vulnerable, to share some of your therapy process with a friend or family member.

However, instead of being met with words of support and encouragement, what you hear is “well, it’s obviously not working, you haven’t lost any weight”.

In a heartbeat, they dismiss everything you’ve achieved.

In a split second, they threaten to undermine all the courageous work you’ve done: healing from negative experiences; connecting to your feelings; defining your personal boundaries; strengthening your self-esteem; tuning into your true needs and wants; dismantling your diet mentality and normalising your relationship with food.

They might as well have punched you right in the gut.

There will always be people who, rather than caring about what’s going on inside you, are only ever concerned about what’s outside of you.

Don’t let other people’s ignorance or insensitivity throw you off course.

You know how far you’ve come and you know where you’re going.

Trust yourself.

Stay on your path.

***

To help you stay on your path, here’s a reminder of the principles of intuitive eating.

14 thoughts on “Gentle Reminder: Stay on Your Path

  1. I think you can read my mind sometimes, Julie 🙂 I catch myself practicing defensive arguments with my mother who sees my size (my “outside”) as a huge failure when really all that matters is that I know me, and I know how much healthier my current view of myself and food is than it was before. I don’t necessarily have to find a way to convince her, and hopefully by my age, I’m beyond needing her approval, lol. I’ll trust myself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Clearly I’ve been honing my mind-reading abilities! It’s such a shame when the people who should be our greatest cheerleaders let us down. I think it’s horrible when you feel backed into a corner, attempting to justify yourself. Sometimes it’s possible to highlight the other person’s behaviour in a non-defensive, curious way – for example, “I’ve noticed you often make comments about my appearance, what’s that about?” – as a way of handing it back to them. Other times it’s better simply not to engage. As you say, what really matters is you know who you are and what you’re doing. Good to hear your thoughts, Karen, many thanks for sharing your experience.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I did ask her once why my size bothered her so much, and with less maturity, I’ve snapped “the only ‘problem’ with my thighs is you!”… neither worked of course. I like my thighs, they carry me well on hikes, and telling her that seemed to help a bit.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Accepting and expressing gratitude for those parts of us that others criticise can be so disarming. Good for you, Karen. It’s such a shame when people are only focused on thinness.

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  2. Whenever we’re in any kind of recovery it is easy to be thrown off course by the comments of others. We all have our vulnerabilities; and they are called vulnerabilities for that very reason. Because they can quickly cause us to spiral downwards, and give up when we’re doing well. Hence the importance of your comments: “Don’t let other people’s ignorance or insensitivity throw you off course.You know how far you’ve come and you know where you’re going. Trust yourself. Stay on your path.” Thanks for a practical and inspiring post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so welcome, thank you for your kind words. I think learning who it’s safe to be vulnerable with – and who isn’t trustworthy with our feelings – is a really important part of boundary-setting in recovery. We can use negative experiences such as these as essential learning – as long as we don’t allow them to derail our process. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts, hope you’re doing OK.

      Liked by 1 person

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